How to Choose a Sponsor in AA

If you are in addiction recovery, you are probably familiar with 12-step programs. You might even be active in a group like Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) or Narcotics Anonymous (NA). No matter what 12-step meetings you attend, you will eventually need a sponsor.

NA and AA meetings are highly beneficial to recovery. Some are centered around having a person share their story to offer the members experience, strength, and hope. Other meetings focus more on working through the 12-steps.

Before you begin working on the 12 steps, you’ll need a sponsor who can guide you through the process. Picking a sponsor is a big deal, as they will be the person you go to for advice, support, and guidance. Your AA sponsor’s main purpose is to help you complete the 12 steps, which will make it easier for you to maintain long-term sobriety.

When you are picking a sponsor you should avoid choosing someone that you are friends with, as you need someone who isn’t afraid to challenge you. Additionally, you should choose someone who has at least a year of sobriety, makes you feel comfortable, and has a good reputation in your 12-step community.

In this article, you will learn:

• What is an AA sponsor
• Why sponsors are important in 12-step programs
• How to find an AA sponsor that is right for you

What is an AA Sponsor?

AA sponsors are experienced members of Alcoholics Anonymous who take other people through their steps. They usually have at least one year of sobriety under their belt and have completed the 12 steps at least once. This experience gives them the ability to guide newcomers through the steps, offer advice, and provide support during times of need.

Not only will a sponsor help you complete the 12 steps, but they are also like your confidant. If you are having a hard time making a decision that affects your recovery journey, they will be there to give you advice. They might offer rules that help keep you accountable, like telling you to avoid romantic relationships for your first year.

Your sponsor should be a good listener, set aside their personal views, and be a good fit for your personality. That said, the sponsor-sponsee relationship is less like a friendship and more like a mentorship. While you should enjoy being around them and look up to them, they need to be able to keep you accountable and tell you when you are doing something that could damage your sobriety.

How to Choose the Right AA Sponsor

Finding a sponsor is one of the most important steps in a program like AA. While attending meetings can help keep you sober, having a sponsor gives you the full experience of 12-step programs. A good AA sponsor will make sure you are staying on track, help you complete the steps, and make it easier for you to maintain sobriety by offering important insight.

When choosing an AA sponsor, you should:

Pick Someone With Time

Your potential sponsor should have been at least one year sober. Without having ample sobriety time, they might not have enough experience to be able to guide you through the process. Since the first year of sobriety is often filled with ups and downs, your sponsor should already have at least a year under their belt.

Once people make it over the year mark, their life usually begins to stabilize. They have been through enough challenges to understand what it takes to maintain sobriety, overcome triggers, and complete the 12 steps efficiently.

Choose Someone You are Comfortable With

While you might be tempted to pick the person in the room who has the most time sober, you should be looking for more than just sobriety time. You have to be extremely comfortable with your sponsor, as you will be opening up about some intimate details during the process of going through the steps.

For example, the fourth and fifth steps of AA groups involve taking a personal inventory of your wrongdoings and then admitting them to your sponsor. This allows you to purge yourself of the mistakes of your past. To be able to do this effectively, you need to pick a sponsor you can trust.

Avoid Picking a Friend

Even though you might be extremely comfortable with the friends you’ve made in AA, you shouldn’t ask them to be your sponsor. Often, the job of your sponsor is to tell you when you are doing something wrong. Your friends might not be willing to speak up for fear of losing your relationship. As a result, you shouldn’t ask your best friend to sponsor you. Additionally, you should be picking someone who seems like they’d be able to keep you accountable when it matters most.

Ask Others for Advice

If you are having a hard time figuring out who should be your sponsor, you could always ask for advice from others in the program. Senior members of the program often have a lot of experience when it comes to suggesting sponsors to newcomers. They can tell whose personalities will mesh and who might not be a good fit.

Get Connected to a Top-Rated Sober Living Program

Alcohol addiction is a chronic and progressive disease that must be maintained to achieve long-term sobriety. Even after you complete a treatment program for your alcohol use disorder, you have to continue managing the symptoms to uphold recovery. Sometimes, this can be difficult without a little extra support.

If you have recently finished an alcohol rehab program, you might want to consider transitioning into sober living. At New You Sober Living, we offer the support you need to learn how to be independent and sober at the same time.

Contact us today for more information on our sober living program.